One of the greatest things I have to deal with is insecurity(ies). As a student, one of the greatest insecurity I've dealt with is my education. Mistakes that happened in the yesteryears which was purely based on my faith on those wiser older than me clearly proved to be grave. The worst part of it all, everything that threatens my very education all stands out of my control and hands. It's not the failing I'm ever worrying about. It's the very CONTINUATION of my education which gives me greatest fear. And if this latest threat falls through, I guess, either God thinks I deserve it somehow for something I did, or formal education is just not for me. Too many hiccups, too many bumps... too many non-failing failed attempts and to think this is coming from a so-called "bright" student.
Lesson #1 : Always go with your instinct. Not those who, from some form of power or hierarchy, you should be listening to. Always go with the norm and you'd never go wrong. Education is not a gamble, Do not take risks. and if you make your mistakes, make sure it is your own mistakes. It's much easier to handle that way.
Appreciation.
It's hard to expect to be appreciated. It always seem like the better half of the deal goes to someone who totally does not deserve it at all. Especially when it comes to family. It's hard drawing the line between who contributes more towards the family on most occasions. But it seems that this occasion, it's quite straightforward. Having invited a elderly family member home despite having people at home hate you for it if one hard thing to deal with. But it takes on a whole new level when that same person, who lied and said they were too busy with work (but actually out) to spend time with their elders, get the better half of the deal.
Lesson #2 : Never do anything nice.
Which takes me to justice, have I lost faith in thinking that, if I do my best I will get returns? Have I lost faith in Justice?
Lesson #3: Only time will tell. Stop being impatient.
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