I admit, yes, a lot has been going on my mind. And to make it even harder. I just can't really pin point to what it is. Trust me, I've been trying really hard to organise these thoughts and put them all in a straight line. I miss that feeling of knowing exactly what to say when you want to rant. The feeling that you wont be judged. And hopefully through that venting you find a solution since you actually know what the problem is.
The feeling of just running away or putting myself into a deeper state of denial is growing really strong.
I hope that this feeling isn't going to be cyclical or permanent even.
Middle of this year, I think I had one of the best times in my life and I did not know where to draw the line. And to this day I'm still dreaming of those days when reality does not exist for me. And the little girl inside of me just refuse to wake up.
In T minus 8 days I am going to formally jump into the adult pool. No, it does not contain too much porn. But rather, more responsibilities. Thinking about it, I don't think I am actually capable of living up to it. Then again thinking about it.... who is?
In 29 years time I will be crossing the half-decade phase and even then, I will still ask the same question.
