You are the king (or queen) of your own happiness.
This last year or so has taught me how difficult that actually is to practice. It was much easier for me back when the only person I did have was myself. I always knew that the happiest that I can ever be is when I make myself happy. Not anybody else. We all know where this post is leading don't we?
Well, the same person did tell me before that posting "personal" things on the internet isn't a wise thing to do as it exposes your weakness to the world. Yet, there is something always therapeutic about putting my thoughts out there. There. Meaning the wider space we don't actually know. I guess part of the therapy actually includes the flow of words that come out of my mind that slowly makes me let. things. go. Ok. Here goes.
So, yes, happiness. Lately, I don't know what constitutes to being "happy"? I remember back when I was a much more positive person.( And you see this thoughts becoming a trend in my blog posts here.) I was very contented with myself yes, while I do felt the pitfalls of being single here and there sometimes but I was generally, happy. I was never trying to make another one proud of me? like me? ...love me? I was so contented with myself, my hobbies, my body. I never had to feel graded. I never had to feel like I was measured against someone else. I never took another's words seriously and let it affect me so much.
You have a negative comment and you've put it out there for my whole class to see? screw you!
You don't have the guts to come up to me and deal with me face to face? to hell with you!
You didn't have a good day and are being rude to me? WATCH ME CARE? -blocked-
I find it hard to admit that something did happen a year ago. Something/someone who was supposed to be the greatest, my other half? The person that would make me better than I already was? I guess although it happened a year ago I'm still getting used to the idea that I'm living for two. Rather for 1 1/2, but sadly, the 1 life I'm living for is not mine.
I'm strong and I know that I must stand up for myself. So that's it. From today, I'm living for me again.
I've drawn up a plan. A strategy. To ignore everything else and live for me again. To feel free again. To feel alive again.
1. Eat well, exercise and gain focus.
When I feel good, I look good and confidence boost everytime I look in the mirror ;) And when I'm focused I get things done, done and done. =)
2. Compartmentalize these feelings.
Literally. I'm going to have a notepad. Every bad thought, will be written down and thrown away in the bin. Then, a positive thought is penned and kept.
3. Sing your heart out.
Self explanatory :)
4. You're beautiful, with a smile =)
5. Get a new hobby, go out with someone newly met =)
It starts with motivation and ends with success =)
See, penning down something and posting it out there never fails to help. =)
