10 Things That Keep Me Going

A few days ago, I was taking the usual hour drive from Nilai to Home that I've been taking for far too long ( no, it's only been about 6 weeks), it was slightly raining and I was starting to feel a little down. Adele's "Melt My Heart to Stone" came on and suddenly it struck me...

Naz, you've haven't been singing to yourself enough lately. It somewhat took me off guard to really think about how long it's been since I had that habit of singing really loudly to songs off my car's radio. Instantly, like a huge whale was taken off of my shoulders, I felt much much better. I felt like Me, again. Besides, I've always believed to never trust anyone else with your happiness. So, here is my list of 10 Things That Get Me Going. Of course, as I grow older, this list may change, but let's try to keep it as timeless as possible.

10. Talking to someone I've known for a really really long time.

9. Getting Inspired by that makeup look on that magazine cover.

8. Cooking & baking to perfection for someone else.

7. Hearing my fat cat snoring, cuddled next to me.

6. The one that started this list. Singing too loud for anyone's good in the car.

5. The ability to put that spare change into my coin bank. Or spare change into my bank account ;)

4. Thinking to myself after seeing a pretty celebrity " Well, I actually KIND of look like her!"

3. HUGS!

2. Shopping. Oh why. Oh why!!!! ( Note: This comes after "Saving Money")

1. Chocolate. Not the dark kind but the purely smooth creamy milk chocolate kind. OH YESSS YESS!!

Insecurities. Appreciation. Justice.

I don't know how relatable my stories are to others and I'd like to think that I am special, but hopefully, some will find my stories similar to theirs. Putting aside, the vast difference in the scope of well, let's put it "adventures", I have to go through in my short life lived, I'd believe that I'd still be a little bit of special.

One of the greatest things I have to deal with is insecurity(ies). As a student, one of the greatest insecurity I've dealt with is my education. Mistakes that happened in the yesteryears which was purely based on my faith on those wiser older than me clearly proved to be grave. The worst part of it all, everything that threatens my very education all stands out of my control and hands. It's not the failing I'm ever worrying about. It's the very CONTINUATION of my education which gives me greatest fear. And if this latest threat falls through, I guess, either God thinks I deserve it somehow for something I did, or formal education is just not for me. Too many hiccups, too many bumps... too many non-failing failed attempts and to think this is coming from a so-called "bright" student.

Lesson #1 : Always go with your instinct. Not those who, from some form of power or hierarchy, you should be listening to. Always go with the norm and you'd never go wrong. Education is not a gamble, Do not take risks. and if you make your mistakes, make sure it is your own mistakes. It's much easier to handle that way.

Appreciation.

It's hard to expect to be appreciated. It always seem like the better half of the deal goes to someone who totally does not deserve it at all. Especially when it comes to family. It's hard drawing the line between who contributes more towards the family on most occasions. But it seems that this occasion, it's quite straightforward. Having invited a elderly family member home despite having people at home hate you for it if one hard thing to deal with. But it takes on a whole new level when that same person, who lied and said they were too busy with work (but actually out) to spend time with their elders, get the better half of the deal.

Lesson #2 : Never do anything nice.

Which takes me to justice, have I lost faith in thinking that, if I do my best I will get returns? Have I lost faith in Justice?

Lesson #3: Only time will tell. Stop being impatient.